Body’s in trouble.

So I’ve just had my first scan on my second IV chemo treatment, (I progressed on my first one after a few incomplete cycles). Psychologically I’ve always rejected Chemo, so it seems the git decided to reject me too. I’ve read enough to know that chemo often fails especially in aggressive or advanced cancer, but I wasn’t expecting it. So, Take Two – I managed a couple of complete cycles before my bloods started to take a real battering, but my tumour marker ( a…Continue Reading “Body’s in trouble.”

Thank you

Just a quick post to thank everyone who has taken the trouble to comment. I am seriously overwhelmed, you have no idea how happy I am that this blog is proving helpful. It’s really cheered me up as I’m a little low at the minute cos my mam is in hospital, and since I am also undergoing treatment and my bloods are down (which makes me tired and highly at risk of infection), I can’t see her. I’m also struggling a bit psychologically too with…Continue Reading “Thank you”

Letting go

One of my biggest fears is knowing when to let go, I don’t want to go out kicking and screaming, gasping for my last breath , I want to be accepting and at peace, ideally having spent the evening dancing with those I love having a glass or two of really good red wine😆. Those who really know me will tell you, letting go isn’t something that comes easily to me. I have a tendency to hold on to stuff, although I’m much better since…Continue Reading “Letting go”

Hair today. . . . . .

The Cold Cap didn’t work. So last Monday I returned from a fab weekend with my old mates in beautiful Ballycotton, it was late when I got home and as I pulled the grip out of my hair to go to bed a substantial amount of hair came with it. Here we go, I was too tired to deal with it then so I just went to bed. Back to reality with a bang the following morning, I sat on my bed in front of my…Continue Reading “Hair today. . . . . .”


  It’s 3.46 am and I’ve been lying awake for hours almost in tears trying to suppress the desire to tear through my flesh with my fingernails. All because of the barely visible, but now burning like hell blasted horsefly bites from the beach yesterday morning. And I’m so poxy tired cos it’s night two without any sleep, last night it was the steroids. I have every drug known to man at home including antihistamine and hydrocortisone cream, cos the bugs feckin love me, and…Continue Reading “Horsefly”